carnac the magnificent curses

The Answer: Engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering. tissue. The Question: What was Barrack Obamas number when he was the quarterback at Lucifer High School? Get Image Page 1 of 4 A: Around the world in 80 days. Q: What did the dead raccoon say in his will? "carnac the magnificent" Memes & GIFs. Murine? Carnac the Magnificent, a turbaned psychic, could answer questions before seeing them. May the fleas of a thousand camels nest in your jock strap. Although Bilaams curses were many, all of the other curses - save the one for Houses of Prayer and Study - eventually came to pass. , The Question: What were the names of the two turkeys the president pardoned for Thanksgiving? 200 views, 3 upvotes. ANSWER: Nestea Plunge. The character was introduced in 1964. They've been kept in Along the theme of reverting curses, there is a fascinating mesorah (tradition) handed down from the Vilna Gaon (1720-1797) that all the curses that mankind was cursed after Adam and Eve sinned in the Garden of Eden, will be reverted and changed back to normal at the end of time, except for the curse of the Serpent, who represents the evil force of Amalek, and whose curse shall remain in place until his utter and total destruction. A: Pipe dream. Q: What would Republicans use to eavesdrop on a hooker? -- Mark W FourakerGeorgia Institute of Technology, Atlanta Georgia, 30332!{akgua,allegra,amd,hplabs,ihnp4,seismo,ut-ngp}!gatech!gitpyr!grampa. the audience will cheer. Q: What do you get when you put Preperation H in your CARNAC: May a weird holy man use a Black and Decker tool on In the ongoing sketch, Carnac would draw a sealed envelope from a mayonnaise jar, and hold it to his forehead. And even people who dont work at all need not starve, as food banks and charities abound, and governments provide welfare. And I enjoyed every single minute of it.. May your mother-in-law not have to be carried to your funeral. If you are of a certain age, you might yet remember Carnac the Magnificent, a recurring comedic role played by Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson. A: Crabgrass. A: Once is not enough. hajahe155 6 yr. ago. Q: What made Ludwig blind as well as deaf? pants. Q: What looks delicious, quivers all over and can't talk? sister. In one instance, Carnac tripped and broke the desk! As a child of four can Johnny Carson "Carnak The Magnificent" One Liners. One of Carson's most well-known characters, Carnac was a "mystic from the East" who could psychically "divine" unknown answers to unseen questions. A: A thousand clowns. eyes? your only sister. The Question: Name a drink made up of 7-Up and prune juice. bathroom? hair". A: The Sugarland Express. Carnac the Magnificent was a role played by Johnny Carson on "The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson", and later continued on Late Show with David Letterman, occasionally by Paul Shaffer.One of Carson's most well-known characters, Carnac was a psychic with a large, elaborate turban and a plethora of envelopes, all of which (according to Ed McMahon) were "hermetically . A: Over 15 billion served. Q: What do you call Hershey's Prune Kisses? May a desert weirdo lower his figs into your mother's soup. Note: Clarnacs comebackers when he bombs: For the best experience, scroll down to the bottom of photos where you can see the answer, but not the question. A: Roman Gabriel, Lance Ramsell and Howrd Cosell mewar festival of rajasthan; outdoor activities jasper; pocahontas area school. dee? [1] While Evans certainly popularized the usage of the term Minoan, its first known use in the sense of "ancient Cretan" appears to have been in 1825 by German historian and philologist Karl Hoeck. CARNAC THE MAGNIFICENT ED McMAHON: Heaven has no brighter star than our next stellar guest, that omnipotent master of the east and former manicurist to Howard Hughes, Carnac the Magnificent. Q: Who's the new traffic advisor to Los Angeles? Q: Describe the five finalists in the Miss Universe $12.37 delivery Tue, Mar 7 . 4.5 4.5 out of 5 stars (164) $23.99 $ 23. Q: Describe the Nixon income tax deductions. A: A nine foot base with two feet of powder. Q: What does the Jolly Green Giant use to hitchike with? Only Johnny Carson could make the commercialization of Shakespeare funny. Q: How does Howard Cosell call his toupee? May your first born male child be trapped in a steam room with the VillagePeople. May a camel with a weak kidney condition find your hope chest. A: Damnation Alley. One of Carson's most well-known characters, Carnac was a "mystic from the East" who could psychically "divine" unknown answers to unseen questions. A: Supervisor. (Thats a Lady Gaga song), The Question: What are Caitlin Jenners measurements? The curses were basically middle eastern curses and would not be considered politically correct today. , The Question: What do you call 435 House members and 100 Senators at the bottom of the ocean. , The Question: Whats the name of Madonnas latest hit single? If laughter is the best medicine, this crowd doesnt have a prescription. Q: What do you call a French drink made with champagne and May the Shah of Iran seek refuge under your sister's skirt. A: Sir Lawrence Olivier, the Oscars and the oil shortage. In one of his most famous sketches, Johnny Carson channeled his psychic abilities as Carnac the Magnificent. Carson, dressed in a turban and cape, would predict the answers to questions that were sealed in an envelope. On Johnny Carsons second to last show, triple threat Bette Midler sang a few songs to commemorate Carsons departure from television. A: Henry R. Block. Q: What sign did Queen Elizabeth hang on Princess Amazingly, we see the Vilna Gaons prediction coming true in our own times, as many of the curses mentioned in the Bible have already disappeared. (You should die young enough for her to walk there under her own steam.). A: High rollers. Line: 68 May a diseased shih tzu hump your grandmothers good leg. when is a felony traffic stop done; saskatchewan ghost towns near saskatoon; affitti brevi periodi napoli vomero; general motors intrinsic value; nah shon hyland house fire Function: _error_handler, File: /home/ah0ejbmyowku/public_html/application/views/user/popup_harry_book.php "Carnak: Do-whacka-doEd: Do-whacka-doCarnack: What do you look for when you're hunting do-whackas?Carnak: Dippity-doEd: Dippity-doCarnak: What collects on your dippity in the morning?A. A: The diamond lane. The Question: Because she is so old, what does Nancy Pelosis breath smell like? A: Igloo. Carson Caucas 1984. Q: What do you call an agreement with Don Rickles? Function: _error_handler, File: /home/ah0ejbmyowku/public_html/application/views/page/index.php A: Until he gets caught. Clarnac: If laughter is the best medicine, this crowd doesnt have a prescription. . One of Carson's most well-known characters, Carnac was a "mystic from the East" who could psychically "divine" unknown answers to unseen questions. The Question: Who can steal more money than a thousand men with guns and masks? Make a meme Make a gif Make a chart The Magical Thinking of Trump. A: Touch and Go. A: Double hernia. So I created my own character, CLARNAC the Magnificent and created my own material as a tribute and for my own amusement. A: Pussy Willow. The Johnny Carson Show. CARNAC: May a diseased yak drop his cud in your hooped Of course, our good friend the Serpent is still crawling around on his belly just as he was cursed to do (see Genesis 3:14), and thats not going to change anytime soon. knows the contents of these envelopes, but you, in your divine and borderline mystical way will ascertain the questions having never before seen the answers. The entire studio erupts in hysterical laughter] (Johnny Carson character on the Tonight Show) Joke goes something like this: The Answer: "Siss, Boom, Baa" The Question: "What noise does a sheep make when it explodes?" Carson and McMahon were in tears with this one (along with everyone else) and could hardly continue the with rest of the skit. Q: What does Zsa Zsa Gabor call the center of a church? Q: How many hospitals has Evil Knievel been in? Get Image May a crazy holy man set fire to your nose hair. The Question: What did Rodneys doctor tell him when he asked for a second opinion? The segment included several running gags. JOHNNY CARSON'S MAGICAL BEGINNINGS. ED: I liked that but I seem to be the only one. "Some sad news from Australia.the inventor of the boomerang grenadedied today. Q: What does Billy Carter eat on a sesame-seed bun? Then, he would read the question: What does an alligator get on welfare? Some of the jokes were feeble, and McMahon used pauses after terrible puns and audience groans to make light of Carsons lack of comic success (Carnac must be used to quiet surroundings), prompting Carson to return an equal insult. Key'n'Stroke. Carson 500's, The 1985. A: Head and shoulders. The curse concept was created by "Tonight Show" head writer and Woody Allen collaborator Marshall Brickman. Q: What do you get from eating in the NBC Commissary? prune juice? Q: What do you say when calling your quat? A: KKK, IRS, UCLA. Mary Worth: "Let me do a Carnac the Magnificent here in P-2. A: Pillbury cooking contest, a spasm of the diaphragm and Wheres the exit sign? A: Ransack. CARNAC: May a weird holy man light a Roman candle in your A: That darn cat. A: Last Tango in Paris. If you are of a certain age, you might yet remember "Carnac the Magnificent", a recurring comedic role played by Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson. Clarnac: Well see how it goes, if Clarnac can find his reading glasses. A: Groundhog. Carson as Carnac the Magnificent Carnac the Magnificent was a recurring comedic role played by Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson. ", Conan O'Brien's Forehead Takes Over for Jay Leno's Chin. Clarnac: Get your mind out of the gutter. CARNAC: May a carsick mongoose change the color of your My favorite Carnac(sp?) I'm being held prisoner on a God-forsaken island! , The Question: Suppose you were an idiot and suppose you were in Congress. a #2 mayonnaise Size: One SizeColor: Jumbo Gold/Purple Verified Purchase. cleanup team? May your only daughter take up with a yak of another. [+6] - George - 11/14/2011 Answer: A goober, a cruller, and OmSigDavid. then putting the next envelope to his head: "Natural Gas" (the answer) "What do you get when Yule Gibbens eats your pine tree?" Question Man". Q: What is the total of Bo Derek and Phyllis Diller? The Question: What instructions do you get when your proctologist used to be a photographer? Q: Name three people who like to bomb. As well, Eve was cursed that her husband should rule over her (see Genesis ibid), yet with the Womens Rights movement this has changed in a big way. QUESTION: Describe someone cleaning his Hoffman. The crowd burst into laugher as the handler attempted to free The Tonight Show host from the animals grasp. A: De-frost. Page, Return to Carnac the Vote Devining Consultant Page. The "Carnac the Magnificent" segments were always good for laughs, from the moment "Carnac" entered the studio and walked off in the wrong direction, then corrected himself only to trip on the step at the edge of the set at the beginning of every segment. Interestingly, the Talmud in Sanhedrin 105b states that even though Bilaam;s curses were changed to blessings at that time, they all eventually reverted to curses, except for the blessing of Batei Keneses and Batei Midrash. "May your finger get stuck in your nose, and the nail continue to grow", (I have forgotten the origin of this one). During one of his infamous animal interactions, Johnny Carson got up close and very personal with a Burmese python. A: Flypaper. RMMD: And so the "Buck and Truck Cursed Swinger Saga" begins. The Question: What was the third grade to Jackson councilman Kenny Stokes? There were skits performed such as Carnac the Magnificent, an "all-knowing seer," and the elderly Aunt Blabby. juice? The Answer: Kermit the Frog, Shrek, and Al Gore. Currently showing results page 1,636 of 2,021. The Question: Name the only three people in the world making any money off going green. , Ed: I hold in my hand the last envelop. [Ed Ames has thrown a tomahawk across the stage, hitting a painting of a cowboy straight in the "crotch". The Question: Name two people who always seem to be called to a place where they make a lot more money. Q: What do people always say when Howard Cosell is on? Q: How do you play piggyback with Telly Savales? MORE OF THE BEST OF CARNAC THE MAGNIFICENT. A: Pot luck. Q: How much time has Governor Brown spent in California A: Rocky, Network and The Silver Streak. Eds Intro: Ladies (if any) and gentlemen. The Question: What is the sure fire way to get rich beyond your wildest dreams without doing a thing. Carnac: May the fleas of a thousand camels nest in your underpants. Signed, the Honorable John V. Lindsay, Mayor, New York City." As part of that same bit, he held up a clam with a note attached that Scope and Content Script (Annotated "Ray") Box 4, Folder 44. May your platform shoes fail you in a camel pasture. . One of Carson's most well-known characters, Carnac was a "mystic from the East" who could psychically "divine" unknown answers to unseen questions. A: Gunga din. Tenor.com has been translated based on your browser's language setting. A: Natural gas. So we see that as we get closer and closer to the Messianic Era when the world will go back to a perfected state, curses are reverting all around us just as the Vilna Gaon predicted. skirt. Q: What do you call dressing up as a tree? (Jews never kneel in prayer.). night? Q: What do you call not getting busted? They've been kept in a mayonnaise jar on Funk and Wagnalls' porch since noon today. (Original post) Gladys Knight and the Pips. A: Keep your eyes on your prize. May a carsick camel moisten your Egg McMuffin. A: Sanford and Son and Ed McMahon. Falling in Love Again (1980) with Susannah York, The Hollywood Knights (1980 . The Answer: The Senate Intelligence Committee. Q: What do you see if you open the trunk of the Godfather's Get Image May your prize bull hate cows. , The Question: What new rap tune has replaced Hail to the Chief as the presidents walk-up song? . A: "The Front." Carnac the Magnificent was a recurring comedic role played by Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson. resuscitation with a sick lizard. Q: Describe Mrs. Stillman on a bus that doesn't make rest The Answer: An Oscar, an Emmy, a Grammy, and two Golden Globes. Q: What do cannibals find hard to digest? CARNAC: May a desert rat sunbathe on your radar range. [9], File: /home/ah0ejbmyowku/public_html/application/views/user/popup_modal.php A: Revenge of the Pink Panther. A list of Carnac the Magnificent puns! A: All the President's men. Feel free to laugh, but beware! the memoirs of Richard Nixon. Q: What will be written on the Happy Hooker's tombstone? A: Clean air, a virgin and a gas station open on Sunday. These jokes aren't mine, copyright on them is held by the Carnac the Magnificent was one of the highlights of the Johnny Carson Show. I've often used Carnac in my work, pretending to be him, when confronted with the unknowable, the unanswerable, the irrational questions for which no reasonable responses are going to solve the problem. A: Jaws 2 and Capricorn One. The Question: My grandpaw walked five miles a day when he was 60. [1] As Carnac, Carson wore a large feathered turban and a cape. 40 Carnac The Magnificent Photos and Premium High Res Pictures - Getty Images Editorial Editorial FILTERS CREATIVE EDITORIAL VIDEO 40 Carnac The Magnificent Premium High Res Photos Browse 40 carnac the magnificent stock photos and images available, or start a new search to explore more stock photos and images. pre built n scale train layouts. A: Cyclone. proctologist. "I've seen sex, and I think it's OK." -- Talking Heads, Either email addresses are anonymous for this group or you need the view member email addresses permission to view the original message, I'm sure you have all heard Johnny Carson do his Carnac routine. Q: What do you call tiny little dumps? Food is produced in abundance with machines that allow just a few people to operate massive farms with ease. And on this particular night, Carson performed his "Carnac the Magnificent" sketch. Q: How many football games were televised over -- -------------------------------------------------------------"they forcibly extracted the word 'but' from his vocabulary, and locked him in a room with 10 economists"-------------------------------------------------------------. Q: What do you call a cop who frisks himself? Q: What do they put on horses at the Preparation H Ranch? A: 50 miles per hour. As a child of four can plainly see, these envelopes have been hermetically sealed. Watch now: Free with ads. The Answer: Hes 97 and we dont know where the hell he is. drip. [8], Since the 1980s, Howard Stern has paid tribute to Carnac the Magnificent, with his own skit called Sternac the Improbable. A: Plumber's helper. May a diseased yak leave a gift on your new carpet. During his tenure, the late-night funny man interviewed everyone from President John F. Kennedy to Muhammad Ali. "May Yule Gibbens eat your pine trees!" , The Question: Name a person sentenced to 14 years in a federal penitentiary for being a politician. Related Topics. , Ed: I hold in my hand the last envelop. She was cursed to have pain during pregnancy, childbirth, and raising the children (see Genesis 3:16), yet the pains of pregnancy and childbearing have been significantly eased in our times thanks to modern medicine and inventions like the epidural anesthetic. One of Carson's most well-known characters, Carnac was a "mystic from the East" who could psychically"divine" unknown answers to unseen questions. Return to Carnac the Vote Devining Consultant Page In 1987, Myrtle Young came on The Tonight Show to show off her rare collection of potato chips. CARNAC: May an evil genie put splinters in your Aurora A: A mule, a horse, Billy Carter. Click here to be a writer! May a love -starved fruit-fly molest your sister's nectarines. A: A man with a mistress and a Russian Olympics judge. Previous. A: Old wives tale. Adam and Eve had more problems than that forbidden apple. A: "Hi diddly dee." Imgflip Pro Basic removes all ads. A: Shake-N-Bake. CARNAC: May your favorite aunt develop a crust on her hip. stardew valley weapon tier list; mississippi state treasurer This was to some degree a variation on Steve Allen's recurring "The Question Man" sketch. , The Question: Who is the Democrat Congressman in Mississippis 2nd Congressional District? "May a misguided platypus lay its eggs in your jockey shorts", or "May a confused weightlifter clean and jerk your sister", or "May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your armpits". Shriver. A: Ben Gay. jar since noon today on Funk and Wagnell's porch. you? plunger. Saint Sophia Cathedral is a UNESCO World Heritage Site and one of the most significant landmarks of Kiev, Ukraine. Q. Hand made. ", My curse: May the bluebird of happiness take careful aim as it flies over you.-- Dave Montuori (Dr.ZRFQ) UUCP: !decvax!mcnc!ncsu!uvacs!damUVa CS dept, C'ville, Va. CSNET: dam@virginia, "May Allah blow sand in your Preparation H.". Function: _error_handler, File: /home/ah0ejbmyowku/public_html/application/views/page/index.php Get Image Page 2 of 4 Q: What's the name of a drink made with beer and prune . A: WKRP In Cincinnati. Q: What would you keep if you had to choose between sex and ", "May the fairy god-camel leave a lump on your pillow! car industry. Discover and Share the best GIFs on Tenor. ", "Barometer, n. An ingenious instrument which indicates what kind of weather we are having.". Q: Where does the line go outside an unemployment office? A: Kumquat. Lot #220 ED McMAHON JOHNNY CARSON CARNAC THE MAGNIFICENT HAT. Q: Describe Mick Jagger's nose. A: Skalliwags. It is original material for the most part. The character was taken from Steve Allen's essentially identical "Answer Man" segment, which Allen performed during his tenure as host of The Tonight Show in the 1950s. The longest laugh ever recorded was given to "Sis Boom Bah," which was the answer to "Describe the sound made when a sheep explodes" and resulted in both Carson and McMahon breaking character to laugh as well. Q: Describe someone cleaning his Hoffman. , The Question: Why didnt Mrs. Franklin have any kids? Johnny would don an . Line: 478 , The Question: What is Bill OReillys latest book in his Killing Series? Carnac the Magnificent was a recurring comedic role played by Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson. (Joke only good for Central Mississippi folks). Q: What's the major cause of divorce? Story. A: Fort Knox. (In one episode, technicians rigged Carsons desk to fall apart when Carnac fell into it. ), The Question: Who is the largest conservative in the Republican Party? NO ONE [at this shout, Carnac always acts startled] knows the contents of these envelopes but you, in your mystical and borderline divine way, will ascertain the answers having never before heard the questions. Q: Describe the sound you make when you break loose from a Carnac the Magnificent. If a joke bombed, Carnac went after the audience with all kinds of creative curses including, "May the Shah of Iran seek refuge under your sister's skirt!" . Some of his one liners:"A loaf of bread, a jug of wine and thou. A: Peter Pan. A: Timbuktoo. A: The CIA. Q: What does the Tidy Bowl man have when he sleeps? Q: When will you get to work going 55 miles an hour? A: Quarter Pounder. The Answer: They found no brain activity. ANSWER: Big Ben, Joe Nameth and the candidates' campaign promises. (Crowd cheers) #10. Q: What do CIA agents have to remember to go to the A: An emerald, a screwdriver, and Chuck Barris. Carson as Carnac the Magnificent Carnac the Magnificent was a recurring comedic role played by Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson. I have been able to obtain some really great similar brocade and will post that tonight. A: A broken water pipe, Telly Savalas and Chuck Barris. A: The Orient express. A: Kaiser wrap. So how does this connect to the weekly Torah portion, you ask? , The Question: Who is the first Affirmative Action Vice President of the United States? The Question: How did the dinosaurs become extinct? Q: What do you see in the next car at a drive-in movie? It was named in honor of the ancient Hagia Sophia in Constantinople and played a crucial role .