The same anxious wait for a little, pathetic cry. We would terminate the pregnancy. 13/12/2020 20:45. And you know, we were laughing and joking. 12/12/2012 22:41. For instance a couple who knew their baby was 'on the small size' were told he was fine at the 18-20 week scan, but discovered at 32 weeks that he had microcephaly. Some parents wondered if it was possible to have the same scan done at 16 weeks rather than 20 weeks. Laura miscarried her twin babies in February. This article was amended on 24 November 2015 to anonymise the writer. Do you have any thoughts about that? Then, three days later, I would go to the labour ward - the ward I had been expecting to visit in two and a half months. Two days, after on Christmas Eve, (my 12 week date) I had more blood tests.
Just wonder whether anyone had ever been told? I had a horrible feeling of relief. Again, no notes can have been written down because the midwife asked the same question. Being generous and kind generally happens only when you're happy. My partner tried to remain calm, and at my request rang my mum. We were denying him his life. 18-20 week scans provide clinicians with more information than earlier scans because by18 weeks a healthy baby should be larger and better developed. And at that, I let out a scream I think. I wasn't unduly worried at all. So she said, 'Come back on Monday. How was that scan different from the dating scan? He was tiny, perfect and a Down's syndrome baby. I could hardly breathe. This scan takes place between 18 weeks and 20 weeks 6 days of pregnancy and is commonly called the 20-week scan. To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account. I want to enjoy my son again, without any reservations. During the examination, sonographers need to keep the screen in a position that gives them a good view of your baby. My mum arrived early to look after our son, and my partner and I got a cab to the hospital. Some people had underestimated how serious any abnormality found at this stage could be for the baby. We strongly advise readers not to take drugs that are not prescribed by your qualified healthcare provider. Desperately trying to hold onto the glimmer of hope we'd been given. And that was extraordinary to see the detail that that could offer. You have accepted additional cookies. But it is a soft marker for Edwards' syndrome. I was booked back in to discuss management options, if nothing had happened. I can't remember the exact words but she said, 'There might be some fatal problems with your baby'. Most scans are carried out by specially trained staff called sonographers. Except for the persistent, nagging doubts. I felt more informed, and I felt that that was what I needed in my head to see you know, that I've got to accept now that this, all these things are real on the screen and this was really my baby that's suffering all these things [sighs], but I was sad as well. I would be put to sleep, and when I woke up I wouldn't be pregnant any more. Well, at the regional hospital it was a 3-D scan. We've got the same battle scars. I pray it's just her heart but I can't see anything else is wrong as I have been scanned by a consultant since I was 14 weeks and every time he has said everything looks okay and she is growing consistently. The scan will find about half (50%) of those babies who have heart defects. The weeks since that day have been very weird. I didn't think my instincts were worth much. My partner watched the baby come out, and for a split second I saw a look of joy on his face. The next day, it was confirmed that my bloods had again dropped. Not a good sign in a hospital consulting room. I think what everyone is saying is that most likely outcome is that there are no problems at all. So obviously quite relaxed. And they took us out of the scanning room, into a more quiet room while they typed up the report. The doctor wanted to do another blood test to confirm a significant drop in my hormone levels. Seated in the antenatal clinic with lots of expectant mothers with baby bumps. We had the same conversation, but obviously were not making any sense to her at all. The thing about that which I felt was difficult is that we could tell when being scanned that there was something very seriously wrong. So we went home, me to rest in an attempt to prevent miscarriage, my partner to reassure us both. She endured many agonising rounds of scans and tests, and unfortunately met with some unhelpful attitudes from some healthcare professionals.
That was an extremely difficult day. Because we knew that that wasn't normal, that wasn't what we'd experienced before, it wasn't just the, 'There's the arm, there's the leg, oh look the baby's moving'. We saw the consultant, who was reassuring, saying that he would rescan me and was sure everything would be fine. We had amnio and then spent a week in absoute anguish waiting for the outcome which was no trisomies. 10/03/2021 16:13, @Cormoransjacket The results come in stages. I had my little leaflet, printed off leaflet about choroid plexus cysts. On the next shift, the new midwife asked us again. It's part of our family. The clinic advised a follow up scan the week after, to check on progress and to see what to do next. But everything seemed fine and we'd been sitting waiting to see the consultant, and I'd had an examination on the bed. We decided that we wanted medication to help me. And then I can't remember an awful lot more about that scan apart from that feeling of searching of how to react in an unknown situation - your brain's kind of trying to work out what to say, what to do, but I had no idea what to say or what to do and I think my first thought was, does that mean our first daughter's okay? And, for a few hours, I'm convinced I've made a terrible mistake. This was on the Friday. And I, and, I felt the weight of deciding what to do about it. Some hospitals do offer earlier anomaly scans of the baby, but they will not show as much detail as scans performed between 18 and 20weeks. The gel makes sure there is good contact between the probe and your skin. So he went out for a walk. A company limited by guarantee registered in England and Wales company number 3266897. So it was just, we were coming up to the 20-week scan and I was just getting more relaxed, just actually starting to look at maybe baby catalogues or, you know, going down the baby aisle at the shops, which I'd always avoided. I was willing the results to be normal. DS had 2 soft markers: talipes (club foot) and 'echogenic locii' somewhere - heart I think. Very occasionally this second scan cannot be completed, for example because: In this case you will not be offered another screening scan but you will offered an all over physical examination for your baby after birth. Seeing your baby on a screen can be really exciting. 17/12/2020 17:13. I was wondering if anyone has been is this situation and can give me a glimmer of hope. No one else ever met the object of my grief. I had hope that the little bumps inside me were fighting just as much as I was to stay with me. All pregnant women should be given the booklet by their midwife or GP Screening tests for you and your baby by Public Health England, which gives detailed information about the types of scan offered and what they are looking for. She describes having to make a . The pain was excruciating, but nothing compared to how I felt inside. Sometimes it is difficult to get good views of a baby. I thought I was going to burst into tears. As I was called for my scan I was nervous and emotional. And having read, since read my information on Edwards' syndrome, a good 85 per cent have problems with the heart. I mean the lady who was scanning was very quiet for a long time. The nursery I had selected for our two-year-old son; my maternity leave; the bunk beds; the summer holiday suitable for a newborn baby. This is not what I imagined pregnancy to feel like', Baby Loss Awareness Week - Voice Five - Bryony Seabrook. Several women had taken young children with them to the 20-week scan because they expected to see 'nice pictures of the baby'. Forcing my hand to my mouth to take the tablet was probably the hardest thing I have ever done. Has anyone been told the wrong sex at 20 week scan? And nothing prepares you at all. Only this time, no cry came. I agreed to an internal scan as the sonographer said we could get a better picture of what was happening. I felt I needed proof of what was wrong before I take such a huge decision and that I couldn't do it based on what someone had written on, on the paper. Within two days I was waiting in my local EPU unit for further tests. Still, the consultant thought things would be OK. I went home feeling crushed; Sam and I both felt helpless. We're going to go and see them. It's been a heartbreaking nightmare. I hated my body and hated every feeling I was having. I had to wait yet another sleepless night. Is it the same scan or is it the same equipment? And the local hospital wanted to send us off to the regional hospital to actually confirm that, and were not really prepared to say at that time that there was something very seriously wrong. Mumsnet carries some affiliate marketing links, so if you buy something through our posts, we may get a small share of the sale (more details here). I was told this was common as my body and hormones still thought I was pregnant. It was probably all right but hadn't had any fluid in it at the moment. For instance a couple who knew their baby was 'on the small size' were told he was fine at the 18-20 week scan, but discovered at 32 weeks that he had microcephaly. I had an appointment with my consultant 2 days later, and again he said, you know, 'Very common - shouldn't worry about it too much, you know, if, the problem is if they find anything else wrong'. It was, 'Oh we'll come back to that'. It was just a few little things like the kidneys were hard to find, and the stomach was hard to find, but that might be because it wasn't filled with fluid. Apologise for somehow doubting their right to be in this world. The "why me?" So we had to go in and out a couple of times, and we were just waiting around for ages and ages. We went in, had a scan, I can't remember the exact sequence of events because the baby was still in the wrong position. I think I don't everything just seems a real blur because it was, it was such a strange experience. Some of the conditions that can be seen on the scan will mean the baby may need treatment or surgery after it is born, for example cleft lip. She didn't say at the time that it was a major problem or that it was something to watch out for. If you are offered further tests, you will be given more information about them so that you can decide whether or not you want to have them. And my partner and I would have a completely different life from the one we'd imagined. We bought a two tests that evening (quite lucky as I messed the first one up!). Again, we weren't understood. Why me and not you, you bastard? You can change your cookie settings at any time. 'Yes, if that's okay with you,' kind of thing, like you do. Somehow, I walked from the sofa up to the bathroom and told my partner. If one of the conditions is found or suspected, the sonographer may ask for a second opinion from another member of staff. x. Sometimes specialist scans such as 3D scans, or MRI scans, are used to examine the baby in greater detail. I've still had no cramps or bleeding so fingers crossed everything is ok I just couldn't believe I fell down the stairs, I can't remember the last time I ever did that! So we left it there, and we didn't actually think that there was anything really to worry about after that scan. The same rush of excitement. Usually, sonographers will ask a senior sonographer colleague to confirm findings and this should be done immediately. I had no idea if we were doing the "right" thing. It was far too much power; neither of us wanted it. That he was small. Baby loss support I couldn't work out what was taking so long and put it down to the doctor being young and inexperienced. I did. Mm-hm. For women who have been given distressing news about their baby during the scan, there should be a health professional available to provide immediate support. But he was not sure. So I trusted him. I remained positive, we researched lots of cases of mistaken dates, inconclusive scans, and compared them to our situation; scrutinising everything to try and believe it was all one big misunderstanding. I felt the dread run through me. Possibly with hindsight we could have been more worried about it, but was probably a good thing we weren't, because we weren't worried about anything basically. This one cannot show you anything, that's what's inside your mind. As I waited for the doctor back on the EPU unit. And this baby sort of floated, and occasionally there was a slight movement, but it was very you could almost see that he was really poorly just from looking at the screen. I can feel my child kick, it responds when he shouts at football - I mean literally, this baby used to dance around whenever he'd like scream at a goal - and there cannot be anything wrong with this child because it's part of us already. Which she reassured us that she'd be absolutely fine, this was a one-off. But other than that everything was fine. What would we like to do with the body? The doctor explained the options I had to manage my miscarriage. Emma was 20 weeks' pregnant when a routine scan revealed that the baby she was expecting had Down's syndrome and heart problems. And so began the most bizarre day of my life. Went off for the 20-week scan, which you didn't, you weren't there, were you, for the first scan? And they took me into another room. The rarest scenario is that the baby is severely ill and choices will need to be made. Mumsnet carries some affiliate marketing links, so if you buy something through our posts, we may get a small share of the sale (more details here), tbh, they never give you good news at scans. In some cases concerns in utero fix themselves sometimes needs treatment. He looked excited. It will take only 2 minutes to fill in. But here I was, minutes later, lying down, waiting. We had the 20 week scan yesterday and got some devastating news. By the time I left the hospital, I was in shock. Sam followed and I broke down. Please note that the opinions expressed by users in Tommys Book of #misCOURAGE are solely those of the user, who is unlikely to have had medical training. So once again we were right back down, really no, really not knowing what to expect. Emma was 20 weeks' pregnant when a routine scan revealed that the baby she was expecting had Down's syndrome and heart problems. For example, the babys brain, kidneys, internal organs or bones may not have developed properly. But I still didn't want to be the one who stopped this baby's chance to live. I have a terrible hatred of pregnant women and a new respect for infertile couples. Unfortunately I was not met with a compassionate sonographer. Specialist scans had a powerful effect on some parents because they could see the baby more clearly and in some cases people recognised which parts of the baby's body were not working properly. This publication is available at https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/screening-tests-for-you-and-your-baby/11-physical-conditions-20-week-scan. And I'd been on the internet looking up all sorts of things and everything was so negative, it was very depressing, because I thought, 'Well, maybe they've made a mistake, or maybe it's something they can fix, I don't know'. And I thought that if I were faced with the possibility of having an amnio, hours of discussion would follow - I would spend days mulling it over. 'Soft markers'. But now that's changed. So I was a bit ignorant of the kind of things, you know, what the scans were really doing - maybe it was, a bit na've I think. Picture every packed football staduim up and down the country - all healthy pregnancies and births. It feels very lonely and isolating. In most cases the scan will show that your baby appears to be developing as expected but sometimes a condition is found or suspected. For example, you may be offered further tests that have a risk of miscarriage. The doctor didn't come. Just doing it. See more information about the 20-week ultrasound scan. But she told us, she told us, she gave us some more detail, she said, 'There's this, there's a big gap in the brain where there shouldn't be'. The 18-20 week antenatal scan and further tests. And again, you know, you read all the books and it tells you 'this is the diagnostics', but after a while you don't hear that inside your head any more No, no, no, I'm fine - because everything's perfect. I was told they needed to do a blood test to get a bench mark of my hormone levels. He was sure the consultant on Monday would see that the measurements were completely normal and that there was nothing to worry about. But at the 20 week scan, which was on a Wednesday, we saw the nurse at the local hospital, the sonographer, and she did a scan and she found that the femur length was quite short in the, in the fetus. As you felt that, you know, it was probably going to show lots of problems and it just wasn't what we wanted, but at the same time we needed to sort of see it and, we needed to prove it I suppose. Some things can be seen more clearly than others. It was the end of January, very end - about the 29th - I'd gone into, I'd gone into 5 months by then. By this point I had stopped bleeding, this caused problems. Like many things, the theory is very different from the reality. We, I was with my mum, and they scanned and found choroid plexus cysts on the brain, which is just a mark, it's a marker on the brain, it's a, what they call a 'soft marker'. Actually you could tell from the brain development as he scanned up through the chambers of the brain, that one quarter of the brain, one chamber was not evident. Maybe. The same unique expression he had when he saw our two year old born. It sounds crazy, but I just knew. So I sort of went home quite, fairly kind of happy and I, at, at this point I hadn't any idea things could go wrong anyway. We went, I went in to the scanning room and they're quite bland facially anyway, whether everything's fine or not they just look at the screen to start off with and do measurements but I very quickly realised that the woman's demeanour wasn't, even for a bland face, was concerning. Mumsnet carries some affiliate marketing links, so if you buy something through our posts, we may get a small share of the sale (more details here). Being deeply unhappy and kind to others at the same time is nigh on impossible. We bought little outfits, teddies, and researched all the vitamins and foods that I could eat. I believed at this point I had miscarried, they wanted me to come back I'm for a follow up scan. I didn't really know what that was. You could see her face, and the major aspect that was, that was the indication of what was wrong was the thickening at the back of the neck in this instance, which, when you're looking at a fetus is, you know, sort of half a centimetre thicker or not is completely immaterial to me, and would look like a completely normal neck, but from the point of view of the consultant was severely abnormal. The chances that anything bad will be discovered are v v small. It is impossible to escape them and each one underlines your loss. It would be a personal tragedy for my partner and me, but that is all. Sometimes a post mortem was needed to confirm the 20-week diagnosis to see if the baby had inherited a genetic problem (such as Fowler syndrome - see '. That's fine. I wanted to be a passive patient while the doctor did what he had to do. Others, including those who had been given leaflets to read about the scan beforehand as well as some who were health professionals, said that they had been nave about the 20-week scan. Read full disclaimer. I wasn't ready to make a decision straight away, and I was told I could call them in the morning. Many described how sonographers and doctors were very restrained and didn't speak at all until they had analysed all the baby's details. Tears started to roll down my face. After that I got, I, it was about in, in 19-, hang on a minute, 2001 I got pregnant again, slightly unexpectedly. It was real. We understand the real meaning of "shit happens". Yeah - in, stomach, out. I think the whole experience has made me a pretty nasty person. Baby loss stories Specialist scans are performed in specialist fetal units and if clinicians feel that there might be problems scanning will be done up to 32 weeks. And I know I can't hurry up the process of grieving. There's nothing wrong, you know, we've had all the tests, everything's fine,' and being very upbeat about it all. The screen may be directly facing them or at an angle. She describes having to make a momentous decision very quickly, and the ferment of relief, guilt and grief that followed, Original reporting and incisive analysis, direct from the Guardian every morning. This scan takes place between 18 weeks and 20 weeks 6 days of pregnancy and is commonly called the 20-week scan. Our position in our families has shifted. It was sick. I faced another internal scan where I began to feel helpless and alone. And they, sort of two of them were looking at the scan machine and then they sort of switched everything off and said, 'Oh, I think we have, might have a problem'. But before he could speak, he, too, had broken down. You may need to have a full bladder when you come for the appointment. And shortly after that, that scan we'd finished and the consultant leant back and said, 'I'm afraid we have some problems here'. The people who did know what was going on seemed far too sure that we were doing the right thing, that there was really no choice to be made. And she sort of got up and walked out of the room and called someone in. It seemed a very arbitrary system, and so you quite often sat outside in the waiting room for a couple of hours before you actually got to see the consultant, which was, seemed you know, I kind of remember thinking before we went in to see him on the particular day when we found out there was a problem, 'Why are we sitting here? So I lay on the bed and my partner sat next to me. 20 week scans look for 11 different anomalies as a rule, however, indicators (markers) are not terribly reliable and in all the literature I found, the targets set for stonographers look like they only pick up around 50% or less of these variants. So even if anomolies are found, they don't always mean a problem.. x. I had issues at the 20 weeks scan with both of mine. It felt like a lifetime to reach our 12-week-scan. The midwife was on the verge of tears and I felt responsible. After the triple test you stop thinking, you stop thinking that anything can go wrong. I am a darker, harder version of myself. It felt as if we'd gone underground, that we were part of the criminal fraternity. My partner went out with him, wanting to see him. Our week-by-week PREGNANCY emails are a must for parents-to-be. Our nightmare began when I went for my 20-week scan. Specialist scans had a powerful effect on some parents because they could see the baby more clearly and in some cases people recognised which parts of the baby's body were not working properly. Despite this new discovery, the sonographer was still concerned. We didn't name him. The baby was very, very small. I was becoming numb to the whole process. In order for the sonographer to get good images of your baby, the scan is carried out in a dimly lit room. You're in and out and that was it. She wanted to have a look at the skull, which was the main thing, but she couldn't see it from where the baby was. After she had taken all the measurements, the sonographer told us that she was concerned with the length of the baby's limbs in relation to the head. And everybody knows and everything is right. I remember thinking, 'that doesn't look quite right'. So I no longer trusted my instincts. At the time the same thing had, exactly the same thing had happened to my friend a month before, and her scan was absolutely fine. And, it does not occur to you in the slightest. There is always a chance that a baby may be born with a health issue that scans could not have identified. So we went home really and I sort of had to think about it all night. Registered office: Nicholas House, 3 Laurence Pountney Hill, London, EC4R 0BB. Could she possibly have something that's not been detected? When I told him what had happened, he refused to believe anything was wrong and said he'd sort it out when he came home. The baby was kicking so hard that I began to believe him. Can you remember that minute. . the amniocentesis) and the pregnancy had already ended, or because the scan was not routinely offered in their region 5 or more years ago. And, so they sent me home at that stage because they said the specialist wasn't available till the following day, which was awful. But for those few days they were torture. There is more detailed information about the main conditions that are looked for during this scan on NHS.UK. Some of the other conditions, such as heart defects, are more difficult to see. No, you couldn't see there was anything wrong. Everywhere you look, there are happy, fat, smug pregnant women. I'd had the scan in the scanning room, I can't remember what they call it now, it's silly, it's gone from my head. He suggested he perform an amniocentesis immediately, to rule out any chromosomal problems. We don't know, but it's not looking good'. The termination would be averting a tragedy. We walked all the way home. I know I could have delivered him in a quarter of the time, but I couldn't bear the thought of him leaving me. I loved him instantly and didn't want to let him go. The doctor gave her consent, and I took the four little tablets.